Answering: What Questions Should I Ask When Touring a Memory Care Facility?

Estimated reading time: 9 min read

Ask four kinds of questions on every tour: who cares for your parent and how they are trained, how the building keeps a person with dementia safe, what an ordinary day actually looks like, and what the contract really costs over a multi-year illness. Most families ask about the chandelier in the lobby and the activity calendar. They forget to ask what triggers a rate increase, what the community fee buys, and how much notice the facility must give before it can discharge your parent. Those are the questions that protect your money and your parent at the same time, and they are the ones I want you walking in with.

I am Jessica Lizel Cannon, a CPA with 28 years in corporate finance and a Certified Dementia Practitioner, and I spent more than 15 years caring for my own mother through frontotemporal dementia and four misdiagnoses. I have toured these communities as a daughter and read their contracts as a CFO, and I can tell you that the marketing tour is built to answer the easy questions and skip the expensive ones. The list below puts the hard questions back in your hands.

If you are about to tour your first facility, you are not behind. You simply have not been handed the right list yet. The Alzheimer’s Association recommends you visit several communities, make an appointment for the first visit, then return once or twice unannounced and at different times of day, including mealtimes. That alone tells you how much of the staged tour you are meant to take at face value. Below are the questions to bring, grouped the way I work through them, plus a short table of the red flags and green flags to watch for while you walk.

Key Insights

• Ask how many caregivers are on the floor per resident, on every shift including nights and weekends, and what dementia-specific training they complete.
• The contract questions matter most: the one-time community fee, the level-of-care escalators, what triggers a rate increase, the discharge terms, and the refund policy.
• In Texas, most memory care is licensed as an assisted living facility, which must give written notice of a non-emergency involuntary discharge (commonly 30 days) with a right to appeal through HHSC; a licensed nursing facility follows its own 30-day notice and appeal rules. Ask which license the community holds so you know which rules apply.
• Look the facility up in your state’s long-term care licensing database (in Texas, HHSC’s Long-Term Care Provider Search) for inspection results, staffing, and any citations before you ever sign, since Medicare’s Care Compare only covers certified nursing homes, not most standalone memory care.

Keep reading for the full checklist below.

Table of Contents

• Staffing and Training
• Safety and Security
• Daily Life and Care
• The Money: Questions About the Contract
• Red Flags vs Green Flags
• Frequently Asked Questions
• Citations

Staffing and Training

In memory care, the staff is the product. A beautiful building with thin, undertrained, constantly turning staff is more dangerous than a plain building with a stable, well-trained team. The National Institute on Aging tells families to ask directly how many care providers there are per resident and what training they have. Push past the brochure number and ask for the ratio on the night shift and the weekend, because that is when staffing thins out and incidents rise.

• How many caregivers are on the floor per resident, and what is that ratio on nights and weekends specifically?
• Are staff trained in dementia care, is that training required by the state, how many hours is it, and what topics does it cover?
• How long have the director and the head of nursing worked here, and what is your annual staff turnover rate?
• Is there a nurse on site around the clock, and how often does a physician check on residents?
• Who handles a resident in crisis at 2 a.m., and what is their dementia training?

High turnover is the quiet killer of good dementia care. A person with dementia depends on familiar faces who know their routines and their early warning signs, and a community cycling through staff every few months cannot deliver that. The Joint Commission’s Memory Care Certification, developed with the Alzheimer’s Association, evaluates staff competency and dementia training, so asking whether a community holds it is a fast way to separate the serious operators from the rest.

Safety and Security

Memory care exists because of one risk above all others: a person with dementia can wander out a door and not find their way back. Your job on the tour is to confirm the building is built around that reality without turning into a locked ward. The NIA advises families to ask whether there is a safe place for residents to go outside, which matters because a secured community should still let a person walk and feel sun without being able to leave unsupervised.

• How is the unit secured against wandering, and what happens the moment a resident reaches an exit?
• Is there a secured outdoor space where residents can walk safely on their own?
• What is your protocol if a resident does leave the building, and when did you last drill it?
• How are falls prevented and tracked, and may I see your most recent state inspection or survey report?
• How do you handle a resident who becomes agitated or aggressive, and what is your policy on physical and chemical restraints?

That restraint question is not rude, it is essential. The Texas Long-Term Care Ombudsman lists the inappropriate use of chemical or physical restraints among the most serious complaints they handle, so a straight answer about how a community manages difficult behavior tells you a great deal about its culture. Before you sign anywhere, look the facility up in your state’s long-term care licensing records (in Texas, HHSC’s Long-Term Care Provider Search), where you can see inspection results, staffing levels, and any abuse citations. Medicare’s Care Compare is the right tool for certified nursing homes, but most memory care is licensed as assisted living and appears in the state database instead.

Daily Life and Care

A memory care day is mostly ordinary hours, not medical events, so the quality of those hours is the quality of your parent’s life. The NIA tells families to ask what activities are planned during the week and on weekends, and to ask to attend one to see what it is actually like rather than reading the laminated calendar. The Alzheimer’s Association frames the real question as whether care is personalized to the resident’s specific needs, abilities, and interests, which is the difference between genuine person-centered care and a one-size schedule.

• May I sit in on an activity right now, and may I come back at mealtime to see the dining room and taste the food?
• How is each resident’s care plan personalized, and how often is it reviewed as the disease progresses?
• How do you keep families informed, and how will you reach me when something changes?
• What is your approach when a resident refuses to bathe, eat, or take medication?
• Can my parent stay here as their dementia advances, or will they have to move when their needs increase?

That last question carries real financial weight. A community that cannot care for late-stage dementia means a second move, a second deposit, and a second wave of disruption for someone who handles change badly. The Alzheimer’s Association recommends visiting at different times, including mealtimes, precisely because a calm, engaged dining room at noon tells you more than any sales pitch. For a closer look at how to weigh communities against each other, see our guide on how to choose a memory care facility in Austin, Texas.

The Money: Questions About the Contract

This is where my 28 years as a CPA earn their keep, because the advertised monthly rate is almost never the real rate. Most memory care contracts add a one-time community fee, then layer on level-of-care charges that climb as your parent declines, plus separate fees for medication management and supplies. I have watched a quoted $6,000 a month become $8,200 inside a year, entirely through escalators the family did not read. Ask these questions before you tour a single room, and ask for every answer in writing.

• What is the one-time community fee, what does it actually buy, and is any part of it refundable if my parent leaves or passes away?
• What is the all-in monthly cost at my parent’s current care level, and what does each higher level of care add in dollars?
• What specifically triggers a move to a higher level of care and a higher bill, and who decides?
• How often, and by how much, can you raise the base rate, and have you raised it in each of the last three years?
• How much written notice must you give before discharging a resident, and what are the exact grounds for an involuntary discharge?
• What is your refund policy on prepaid rent and the deposit if we leave mid-month or need to move quickly?

The discharge terms deserve special attention, because a community can decide your parent’s behavior or care needs exceed what it offers, and a move on short notice during a dementia crisis is the worst case. In Texas, a nursing facility must provide written notice of an involuntary discharge at least 30 days before the date, state the reason and where the resident is going, and inform you of your right to appeal through Health and Human Services. The Long-Term Care Ombudsman can represent you in that appeal for free. Knowing those rights before you sign changes how you read the contract.

Model the cost across four to seven years, not one, because dementia is not a one-year event and the escalators compound. According to CareScout and Genworth Cost of Care data, memory care in Austin runs an estimated $5,700 to $7,200 a month, which annualizes to roughly $86,400 at the top of that range before a single level-of-care increase. A family that maps the real numbers before the move keeps far more of its money than one that signs on the tour. For the fees that hide between the lines, read our breakdown of memory care hidden fees in Texas.

Red Flags vs Green Flags

You will not catch everything in the contract on a first read, but you can read the room. Here are the signals I tell families to watch on the tour itself, what each one really means, and the better sign to look for instead.

No single red flag should end a tour, but two or three together is your answer. After 28 years of reading financial statements and 15 years inside this system with my own mother, I can tell you the families who choose well are the ones who walk in with the questions written down and refuse to leave without the contract terms in writing. The tour is designed to reassure you. Your job is to verify.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: What is the single most important question to ask when touring a memory care facility?

A: Ask what the caregiver-to-resident ratio is on the night shift and weekends, not just the daytime number on the brochure. Staffing is the product in memory care, and off-peak hours are when falls, wandering, and crises rise. A community that answers clearly and invites an unannounced visit to verify it is showing you something a staged daytime tour cannot.

Q: What financial questions do families forget to ask?

A: The contract questions. Ask what the one-time community fee buys and whether it is refundable, what triggers a move to a higher and more expensive level of care, what can raise the base rate and by how much, and how much notice the facility must give before discharging a resident. These escalators and terms are where a quoted rate can climb by thousands a month, and they are rarely covered on the tour.

Q: How can I check a facility’s safety record before I sign?

A: Look the facility up on Medicare’s Care Compare, where you can see health and safety inspection results, staffing levels, quality measures, and whether the home has been cited for abuse. Ask the community directly for its most recent state survey or inspection report, and treat any reluctance to share it as a red flag.

Q: What are my rights if a memory care facility tries to move my parent out?

A: In Texas, a nursing facility must give written notice of an involuntary discharge at least 30 days before the date, state the reason and where the resident is going, and inform you of your right to appeal through Health and Human Services. The Long-Term Care Ombudsman can represent you in that appeal at no cost. Ask about the discharge terms before you sign, not when a crisis hits.

Want to Learn More?

The Proactive Caregiver was built from 28 years of CPA financial discipline, Certified Dementia Practitioner training, and more than 15 years caring for my own mother. Across 470-plus videos, 110-plus podcast episodes, and a book on proactive caregiving, the goal is always the same: help families be aware, prepared, and informed before the system decides for them.

Citations

• “How To Choose a Nursing Home or Other Long-Term Care Facility, National Institute on Aging” — Source for asking about caregiver-to-resident ratios, staff training and turnover, doctor visits, planned activities, mealtime observation, and a safe outdoor space. https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/assisted-living-and-nursing-homes/how-choose-nursing-home-or-other-long-term-care-facility
• “Long-Term Care, Alzheimer’s Association” — Confirms the advice to make appointments plus unannounced visits at different times including mealtimes, to ask about state-required dementia training, person-centered care, and what happens if money runs out. https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/care-options/long-term-care
• “Residents’ Rights and Discharge Notice, Texas Long-Term Care Ombudsman” — Source for the 30-day written discharge notice, the right to appeal, the free ombudsman service, and complaints about restraints. https://apps.hhs.texas.gov/news_info/ombudsman/rights.html
• “Care Compare: Nursing Homes, Medicare.gov” — Confirms families can compare inspection results, staffing levels, quality measures, and abuse citations before choosing a facility. https://www.medicare.gov/care-compare/?providerType=NursingHome
• “Cost of Care, CareScout (Genworth) 2024” — Source for the estimated Austin memory care monthly cost range used in the contract section. https://www.carescout.com/cost-of-care

Facility rules, residents’ rights, and care standards are set by federal and Texas agencies and are updated over time, so always confirm current requirements with the National Institute on Aging, the Alzheimer’s Association, Medicare, and Texas Health and Human Services before making a decision.

If you’d like to learn more, visit https://proactivecaregiver.com/discovery-call/ to explore how we read the contract before you sign and map the questions that protect your family.

Related Resources

Wherever you live, the proactive approach is the same. The Proactive Caregiver works with families nationwide through virtual coaching, with in-person roots in Austin and Central Texas.

• Dementia Care Navigation
• Advocacy & System Navigation for Caregivers
• The Proactive Caregiver Method